A Place to Start
I suppose a good place to start would be the beginning. So I'll start there.
I played EvE back in my college days from 2004-2008 and fell in love with the game. It was unique, fresh and totally a new spin on space games that I was looking for.
I started my career as a Minmatar. Specifically one from the Sebiestor tribe. I fell into industry and mining and though it was, okay I always wanted to do more. But my inherent fear of loss, and even more my fear of disapproval from peers kept me back. In those days the war deccing mechanic was much more liberal. Any corporation could start a war with another and I remember sitting more times than not in a station spinning my ship to afraid to undock and engage the enemy. What if I loose? They will make fun of me. My corp mates will look down on me. How will I make the isk back to replace my ship if I loose. Crippled by indecision and fear of loosing I wouldn't do a thing. But I had this admiration for those people outside the station that were engaging the game.
Fast forward a few years, and the time in my life where I could no longer put the time into the game. Life after graduate school was demanding. I played a number of games on and off, here and there but it wasn't until I discovered another game that I would begin to reshape how I play EvE.
Elite Dangerous was -I say was, as the developers of this game have no intention on fixing it and it is quite literally a buggy mess- a very immersive spaceship simulator game. It was here through role playing that I met one Marra Morgan. It turned out that she was quite apt at piracy. But even more interesting, she was quite the pirate and hellion in EvE online. She had started after I left and created for herself quite a rap sheet of shenanigans. After Elite Dangerous imploded on itself she had contacted me to see if I would be interested in rejoining in EvE.
I found myself in a quandary. EvE took a lot of time. And I didn't want to go back to the spreadsheets. But she told me that she had no intention of creating a corporation based around industry. But rather one of opportunities. Not the idyllic opportunities we are all accustomed with. One were we exploit opportunities for our own gain. That caught my attention. Perhaps I could be like those people who engaged in the game instead of cowering in the station and if anyone had the experience and knowledge it would have been Marra. Or more aptly, Karynn Denton.
So I looked into recovering my old account, but alas I believe it is forever gone. May you rest in peace, Raint. But perhaps new beginnings should begin with all things new. But this time I would play this game radically different and Ax'l Thorne was born.
And thus this rabbit hole of psychological game game play, the sheer ludicrousness of how people become too attached to pixilated spaceships, how any little wrench tossed into their game play is akin to a devastating blow to them personally. A blow to their family and country.